I was struck, negatively, by that third line, "From far away beyond..." There's a duplication of thought, or at least, a want of commas. Some of this might also be the result of that period at the end of the second line; a fragment, why? Perhaps in a slightly more modern prosody I would have expected an m dash, or a comma--the line stops where it should flow.
Well, now I'm bugged by line 2, because "pursues" is a transitive verb, and it seems to have been used intransitively here --- but I think it's a case of inversion. "On every branch, every drop pursues after drop" is more the sense. But yes, you expect line 3 to start with the direct object of that sentence, whatever is being pursued, and it's disorienting.
Lines 3-4: "From far away beyond the drizzled flues a twilight saddens at the windowpane." I would be inclined to put a comma after "flues," but not necessarily anywhere else. The saddening twilight presumably comes "from far away beyond the drizzled flues," one continuous if somewhat undefined place, so I wouldn't set off "beyond the drizzled flues" in commas. The sense seems to be that the twilight comes from that distance to "sadden" at the windowpane. And he, or whoever typeset this version of the poem, seems to have assumed that the line break would stand in for a comma, in the spot where I'd have put one.
Thanks for the introduction to the poet and the group. I knew that the young Santayana was at Harvard then, and a bit of research shows that he was a friend of Sanborn. They graduated the same year and were involved in together in many endeavors, including the "Harvard Monthly." Santayana lived much longer, till 1952, but the little of his poetry I know seems to breathe the same air as Stickney's.
Jody: i want to send you something in the regular mail -- am sure you will appreciate it. May i have your address please?
Cita
I've emailed you at the email address you used to subscribe. Congratulations on the recent Churchill book this spring!
Wow
I was struck, negatively, by that third line, "From far away beyond..." There's a duplication of thought, or at least, a want of commas. Some of this might also be the result of that period at the end of the second line; a fragment, why? Perhaps in a slightly more modern prosody I would have expected an m dash, or a comma--the line stops where it should flow.
Well, now I'm bugged by line 2, because "pursues" is a transitive verb, and it seems to have been used intransitively here --- but I think it's a case of inversion. "On every branch, every drop pursues after drop" is more the sense. But yes, you expect line 3 to start with the direct object of that sentence, whatever is being pursued, and it's disorienting.
Lines 3-4: "From far away beyond the drizzled flues a twilight saddens at the windowpane." I would be inclined to put a comma after "flues," but not necessarily anywhere else. The saddening twilight presumably comes "from far away beyond the drizzled flues," one continuous if somewhat undefined place, so I wouldn't set off "beyond the drizzled flues" in commas. The sense seems to be that the twilight comes from that distance to "sadden" at the windowpane. And he, or whoever typeset this version of the poem, seems to have assumed that the line break would stand in for a comma, in the spot where I'd have put one.
Line 2 bothered me as well, for the same reason, and I came to the same conclusion: drops pursuing drops.
Thanks for the introduction to the poet and the group. I knew that the young Santayana was at Harvard then, and a bit of research shows that he was a friend of Sanborn. They graduated the same year and were involved in together in many endeavors, including the "Harvard Monthly." Santayana lived much longer, till 1952, but the little of his poetry I know seems to breathe the same air as Stickney's.
Stikney's name rings a bell, but I had never read anything by him. "A twilight saddens to the window pane" is a remarkable line!
Those lines about the chimney flues and the twilight were really what made me want to write about the poem.