Must be a regional accent thing, but I pronounce "begin" and "thin" with "again" as full rhymes, not slant. I'm guessing it probably is a slant rhyme for Hillyer too, but I'd never have caught it as a slant.
I'd have thought so if it hadn't been for "rain." You *could* read all those n-ending words as the same rhyme repeated slant, except that some of them --- the feminine ocean/motion --- are so very exact that you have to think he means them that way.
But yeah, in ordinary speech, I say "again" to rhyme with "begin."
I could feel the "lazy water" slapping, falling off, returning, not quite predictably under the fog in this -- I love the music of this one very much. RE: all the "-n" rhymes, I wondered if the 'shifting/lift' echo would jar more, if he hadn't used the word 'turn' just before. It satisfies my ear just where that one unrhymed line swells and has a small crest of sound -- echoing off all the other "-n"s, before it goes on to "lift". It feels just right to me.
I always love your commentary and analysis of a poem. I don't like the feeling of "speaking in front of the whole class", but I am so grateful you do these.
Ha, yes. "Speaking in front of the class" is kind of how this feels! But the good thing is that so often standing up and speaking means the start of a conversation, rather than an exhaustive performance, saying everything that could possibly be said with no room for anyone else's contributions. I'm always grateful for these combox contributions, which so often point me toward things I hadn't noticed myself. So thank you in return!
British readers might find it helpful to know that 'buoy' is disyllabic in the US: boo-ee. (I only discovered this because I questioned the scansion of a line by an American friend when she used this word in one of her poems! In Britain it's pronounced the same as 'boy').
I love the unique internal rhyme as replacement for end-line rhyme on 'shift...lift': the ephemeral brevity of the revealing of the third sail. The 'lift' is also subtly centered and heightened by the matching horizontal/vertical rhyme/assonance/rhyme patterns of 'shift...mists...lift' & 'bird...turn...third'.
There's something very satisfying about the bookended slant rhyme of 'begin...again'. And then the delayed resumption on the full rhyme, separated by a stanza break - combined with the early caesura and light 3rd beat -, conveys the unpredictable, restless activity.
Followed by a final expansion of the 'nervous rings' into five beats! The last long line of the poem!
Personally, I hear the next line as an opening swing: that feels the more natural and expressive reading to me. A swing into three successive heavy B syllables, closing on a bookended alliteration ('SOMEwhere...SINGS'):-
'SOMEwhere a BLEAK BELL BUoy SINGS'
And, of course, those three heavy tolls are repeated two lines later!
'its WET, GREY MOnotone'
I'm loving the O assonance of 'monotone...alone' with the earlier final beat syllables of the stand out short lines in the first stanza: 'ocean...motion'
Wonderfully atmospheric painting, by the way! Perfect choice!
A fascinating poem, perfectly capturing the experience of fog -- over land as well as over water. The isolation within a foggy morning is dreamlike and a little eerie -- and I love it!
Must be a regional accent thing, but I pronounce "begin" and "thin" with "again" as full rhymes, not slant. I'm guessing it probably is a slant rhyme for Hillyer too, but I'd never have caught it as a slant.
I do love this haunting poem.
I'd have thought so if it hadn't been for "rain." You *could* read all those n-ending words as the same rhyme repeated slant, except that some of them --- the feminine ocean/motion --- are so very exact that you have to think he means them that way.
But yeah, in ordinary speech, I say "again" to rhyme with "begin."
I could feel the "lazy water" slapping, falling off, returning, not quite predictably under the fog in this -- I love the music of this one very much. RE: all the "-n" rhymes, I wondered if the 'shifting/lift' echo would jar more, if he hadn't used the word 'turn' just before. It satisfies my ear just where that one unrhymed line swells and has a small crest of sound -- echoing off all the other "-n"s, before it goes on to "lift". It feels just right to me.
I always love your commentary and analysis of a poem. I don't like the feeling of "speaking in front of the whole class", but I am so grateful you do these.
Ha, yes. "Speaking in front of the class" is kind of how this feels! But the good thing is that so often standing up and speaking means the start of a conversation, rather than an exhaustive performance, saying everything that could possibly be said with no room for anyone else's contributions. I'm always grateful for these combox contributions, which so often point me toward things I hadn't noticed myself. So thank you in return!
British readers might find it helpful to know that 'buoy' is disyllabic in the US: boo-ee. (I only discovered this because I questioned the scansion of a line by an American friend when she used this word in one of her poems! In Britain it's pronounced the same as 'boy').
I love the unique internal rhyme as replacement for end-line rhyme on 'shift...lift': the ephemeral brevity of the revealing of the third sail. The 'lift' is also subtly centered and heightened by the matching horizontal/vertical rhyme/assonance/rhyme patterns of 'shift...mists...lift' & 'bird...turn...third'.
There's something very satisfying about the bookended slant rhyme of 'begin...again'. And then the delayed resumption on the full rhyme, separated by a stanza break - combined with the early caesura and light 3rd beat -, conveys the unpredictable, restless activity.
Followed by a final expansion of the 'nervous rings' into five beats! The last long line of the poem!
Personally, I hear the next line as an opening swing: that feels the more natural and expressive reading to me. A swing into three successive heavy B syllables, closing on a bookended alliteration ('SOMEwhere...SINGS'):-
'SOMEwhere a BLEAK BELL BUoy SINGS'
And, of course, those three heavy tolls are repeated two lines later!
'its WET, GREY MOnotone'
I'm loving the O assonance of 'monotone...alone' with the earlier final beat syllables of the stand out short lines in the first stanza: 'ocean...motion'
Wonderfully atmospheric painting, by the way! Perfect choice!
Yes, good point about the pronunciation of "buoy," though in my own ear it's a word that can be kind of elided, not quite two distinct syllables.
Illuminating observations, as always!
A fascinating poem, perfectly capturing the experience of fog -- over land as well as over water. The isolation within a foggy morning is dreamlike and a little eerie -- and I love it!
Really enjoyed the atmosphere of fog, seemingly necessary, for the dead also to be around.